To change people’s lives daily because you never know what they are going through and you have the power to make their day better! Change their moment and make a difference!

On October 15, 2002, I was 8 1/2 months pregnant with my second child, a little boy. I was 6 days from my scheduled C-Section when I learned I had lost my son. He was stillborn due to an umbilical cord accident.

My mission since that day has been to make a difference. Genuinely, serving, caring and helping others everyday.

On October 15, 2002, I learned that my son, William, had passed away. I was 6 days from my scheduled C-Section. It was around 8:00 that night, I had not felt him move. After a few calls to to the doctor on call I decided to go to the hospital. It was a horrible experience. My son was gone, he was stillborn due to an umbilical cord accident. My doctor assured me that nothing I had done caused William’s death, nor could anything have been to prevent it.

The grief, guilt, and anguish was overwhelming.

I lost track of time. Days on end went by where I did nothing but sleep and cry. I had a 4 year old at the time that was eating Doritos for breakfast because I simply could not find the strength to get up and cook for her. I wanted to scream, cry, hide all simultaneously, but most of all, I wanted run away. I repeatedly felt like I was in a hole and people were walk by looking down at me while offering a kind word, or a short rope, but none offering a rope long enough or an actual true word of meaningful help. I lost most of my friends as they did not know what to say or do. I felt guilty; I should have known, should have done something different and prevented this loss. I thought of all the things I did, wondering did something cause the cord to wrap around his neck, arm, and finally his hand. I pondered if this was punishment from God. I asked “why” constantly and this led me to begin questioning everything. I questioned every aspect of my life; my worth, my life, and my faith.

Countless days went by that I would be reminded of this unconscionable loss; a piece of mail, an unsuspecting acquaintance asking about the baby, the looks from people I knew. Then came the task of taking down all the décor, furnishings, and removing all the items from the nursery I had so proudly finished in those last few days before. Those moments were some of the most excruciating. As I went about this task, I be an to feel that the only way I could truly start to heal was by helping others. I wanted to be there for other mothers having this experience and help them through their grief; bring families together, discuss the issues, the pain, the grief, and most importantly support each other. It has been a long road marked with pain, and suffering, followed by acceptance and a desire to make a difference. I have shed many tears and gone through many appointments of counseling to get where I am today. I want to Make a Difference Daily! I want to help and be there for families in need and just be there for people who need it!

The journey has just begun. Be sure to check back as this is just starting. Making a Difference Daily!

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